MISSING - SWEDISH COOK AND BAKER

If found please return to us as soonest. We miss her presence in our home terribly. *cries of despair. $5 reward to honest person who returns her.

Description:
Name: Brig "wah so kaka" also answers to "OI"
About as tall as me.
Ummm not so neat blond hair. - she has a comb phobia.
Strangely refers to rolling pins as "bowling pins".
Loves all that start with the letter "C", like coke, ciggies and cats.
Can be easily bribed and lured into vehicles with hugs and ummm pasta bake.